There are many bumps in the road of marriage, but we need to start somewhere, so let's put the key in the ignition and get going...
Stress and pressure build up easily in a marriage these days and your path may need recalculating.....
Which path will you choose?
The 'parking lot' path?
Stand still and wait for something to change.
The 'I can plow through this' path?
Ignore the signs on the road, move over to the shoulder of the road and just keep driving into trouble.
The calm down and 'try an alternative route' path?
This involves thought and discussion. It's not the easiest path, but often leads to success.
Keeping communication open is key to success in marriage, but there are a few traffic violations one can fall into. It might be best if both parties prepare yellow 'warning' signs and red 'stop' signs ( out of paper) before the discussion begins. Really! Cut and color your signs.
Now begin.
State your rules for the discussion. Here are some suggestions....
-Never let the 'D' word enter the conversation. Tossing the word divorce into a conversation hurts! AND it leaves a nasty memory when the discussion is over.
-Traffic signs may be used at any time by either party if there is a sign of a collision. No one wants to be hurt. Put up the yellow sign as a warning to your partner if what is being said is hurtful to you. If the conversation keeps getting hurtful, put up the red sign. Then both parties must stop talking until things calm down again.
- Listen to each other. Really really listen. Don't interrupt.
-Try not to accuse. Attempt to use 'I feel left out (horrible, bad, hurt....) when.......' That's softer than an accusation.
-Some people find it easier to take a walk and talk. Go outside and discuss....
Now add some of your own rules and get started. Share your ideas here....
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