I couldn't think of anything to write about today, so I asked for suggestions for topics on Facebook. A friend told me to write about flatulence because it's always funny to read about flatulence. Perhaps it's funny to read about large dogs who let it rip. Not too funny, though, because large dogs have really bad gas. It's so bad that the brain tells the lungs to refuse to expand to take the smell in. Some owners of big dogs tell of stinkies so bad that they could peel off the wallpaper in the room. I guess that's pretty funny, as long as I'm not in that room.
And is flatulence funny for senior citizens? Let me tell you that as people grow older, that muscle in the tush that holds it all in definitely gets weaker. The most gentle of gentlemen can be heard any time of day or night with evidence that this is true. Ladies are mortified when this happens. Does one say, 'I'm sorry' or 'Excuse me.' Consider all the senior citizens now online on the dating sites. The senior male gets all spruced up for his big date, puts on his cologne in anticipation of a possible score with  a woman he never would have been able to date in his younger years. But now he is a stud because of the shortage of men at that age. The lady meets her 'stud' and tries to overlook the belly, the thinning hair and the cologne from the 60's....and then the muscle that has become weak lets loose......
Flatulence oh flatulence,
Only a muscle holds you in
Flatulence oh flatulence,
I'm alive
I'm a stud
And I still can't win!